"It takes a heap 'o livin' in a house t' make it a home" -Edgar A. Guest

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Okay, so I've been meaning to do this blog post for a while, but we all know how dedicated I am to blogging, so I'll say no more on it. This year Adam gave me a book called Stoneflower for my birthday--I already have two other books by this author, and I may have hinted to him that I wanted this one as well. With shame I confess that this book falls under the LDS romance novel genre and probably will not fundamentally enrich your life, but it's a quick and enjoyable read. I was introduced to the author's first book, Summergreen, by one of my friends back in high school, and absolutely loved it. Later I discovered it's sequel, Valley of Fire, which I enjoyed equally as well. It wasn't long after that that I noticed this third book at the library. As excited as I was to read another of the author's books, I just couldn't bring myself to check it out for the sole reason that the cover was so craptastically cheesy! I was embarrassed just looking at it and would rather deny myself the pleasure of reading it than be associated with such a book. Years later, when I was in college, I discovered it again, and decided to just read it (though I'm sure I handed it to the librarian face down at checkout). It was summer and I often took a book out to the pool, but there was no way I was being seen in public with it, so I took what I thought was a precautionary measure by taping a piece of paper over the offensive cover. Thankfully, I had a very good and concerned roommate, who stopped me before leaving the apartment and informed me that it looked like I was taking something much more objectionable than a romance novel to the pool. I think she suggested that I also drink my soda out of a brown bag, if I persisted, to complete the effect. We had a good laugh, and still joke about it. Adam, who had heard this story, didn't believe the cover could be as bad as that, but sure enough, as soon as the book arrived, he was converted to my way of thinking. I thought I'd list just a few of my favorite elements: 1) the popped collar and rolled-up sleeves 2) the feathered hair (that goes for both of them), 3) the severe 80's make-up, 4) the giant sweatshirt (or whatever the heck that is she's wearing), 5) the Tom Selleck mustache, 6) the hand placement on his manly chest--this is all aside from their expressions as they gaze longingly into one another's eyes (I think I just threw up a little in my mouth). Adam also suggested I give you a flavor of the book by including a couple of lines:

(Let me know if there's something about this description that doesn't quite add up)
If her jewelry and the classy apple green jumpsuit were any indication, she was loaded.
(Classy....jumpsuit???)

(And now for my personal favorite)
Dazed, the coarse caress of a moustached mouth lingering on my lips (barf and a half!!), I pushed up on my elbows.
(No further comment needed)
So ya, let me know if you want to borrow it.

4 comments:

Adam Denison said...

I, too, have now thrown up in my mouth.

Amberdawn said...

Thanks! Now I'll laugh my way into next week!

Christie // lemon squeezy home said...

Ha ha ha! That is totally cheesy!

So the word verification I have to type is "frocops". Sounds funny huh:).

9pointtype said...

Wow ... I beg you to make a book cover out of cute paper from the craft store to cover up that very ... um, creepy cover. Or you could slide your Twilight book jacket over it ;)

Blast! I can't stop looking at them!